I was at my friends' eating dinner. They have five lovely kids. After a few visits to the house already, two of the younger ones took a particular interest in me while we were eating. They are around nursery age and the brother being a little older than the sister.
Out of the blue he asked:
“How old are you?”
“Hm?” Trying to chew the food in my mouth. “I am 31.”
“Are you married?”
“Haha, no I’m not married.”
They looked at each other with some astonishment, and exclamations followed:
“31!? That must be the oldest unmarried man we know!”
The sister was noddingly agreeing while exclaiming her support for the brother’s observations.
The parents, slightly at un-ease with the ongoing inquisition, spoke up now and tried to steer the conversation away from the topic. The children were re-assured that my state was perfectly normal and there was nothing in it to be surprised about. In fact, there were many like me that were not married or attached out there! All grown-ups were well amused, but we couldn’t express it by laughing too freely and some funny looks were exchanged.
Some further interrogation followed while the topic still lingered.
“Why are you not married?” the boy finally asked.
I straightened up, finished my chewing and looked him in the eyes with a smile. Slowly and clearly I spoke:
“Because I’m too ugly!”
Both the siblings looked puzzled by the conversation’s unexpected turn. Their parents quickly prevented them from following the topic or giving their consent and I was happily off the hook… for a while!
After dinner I was commissioned by the little princess to help finish a jigsaw puzzle that we had begun laying down earlier.
I sat in a chair and she sat on the table with the puzzle. We built the castle, assembled the princess’ pink dress and golden crown along with the cupcakes and all the rest.
“Do you have an iPod?”
“No,” I answered. “I don’t have an iPod.”
“Why don’t you have an iPod?”
“Because I have a music player from another brand instead.”
“Do you have any games on it?”
“No, it doesn’t have any games.”
“Why don’t you have any games on it?”
“Eh… well, I only have music on it and it don’t have any games.”
“When you get a wife, you need to get an iPod!”
(I was at loss to find out which was more imperative; to get the iPod or the wife!)
“Oh, really? What do I need the iPod for then?”
“Because the iPod has games on it, and kids love games!” she answered like it was the most given fact in the world.
I was struck by the time-scope! –how the acquisition of a wife immediately meant the presence of kids with the desire for electronic games! She proceeded to sit down and play with her father’s iPad. That’s when we found out that it was actually an iPad I had to get.
Later she sat on my shoulders while we were dancing to the sound of my beatboxing. –an activity that made a whole lot more sense to me!