Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there was this girl that was interested in me. She would grab my hand at random times, her face would be a flirt in it self, but she never uttered her interest in words. We used to rock up at some of the same places quite regularly and we were also starting to become friends. Just normal friends. The romantic interest was not mutual, though she was a beautiful and interesting young woman in many good ways.
One day she disappeared off my radar all together. All though we still frequented the same places and had many friends in common, she no longer spent any time... or dare I say, wasted any time around me. So much for that friendship I laughed to myself. But I have opposite stories as well, where the friendship might even have grown stronger.
What is it? If you are found not to be husband-material any more you are discarded as a friend? You see, I think the title "husband (material)" is a super-structure that is built on a friendship sub-structure.
Once I introduced two people. They later became a couple and then they broke up. I was spending some time with her some time later, and she talked about the loss of her boyfriend. She started crying and said, "I don't mind loosing a boyfriend" -but in the process she lost a friend. Some people are sensible enough to stay friends though.
What if the friendship comes first? And then a bigger interest develops maybe from both, and then one of the parts bail out. You should think they went back to being friends right? Friends to start with, ending as friends. No reason for one part to retract? Maybe I'm just too Norwegian...? I have very few places in my heart that I give to people to come really close. If someone changes their mind about the romantic superstructure I don't understand why the underlying friendship has to go, or suffer injury. Was my friendship that cheap? Romantic interest detected or broken; no longer material for more than friendship spells discarded or decreased relations?
Ain't it funny? Dark blind alley entered in sunshine with happy company and you walk out again confused and alone in the dark of night. We shall all die, and you wonder what you learn in times like those. One more day of your life spent on something unnecessary. But it's not unnecessary is it? Nothing is. At least it makes great knowledge for raising and guiding future sons. Thank God!