We just had the most awesome Rocknations youth conference on in Church ever! …so far! One night some of us boys that were serving went off to get some food down at Nando’s, after our duties were over. I was gonna take the train home to Leeds and had to run to catch it. Good company makes you wanna stay for just a little longer. Long enough to have to run for the train afterwards. It was great! A drizzle of rain in the air and pitch dark! Reminding me of so many nights in the mountains…
It was then I felt it! I think I wrote about this topic last year too. Just for a fraction of a second it was there! The wet and chilly air revealed something distant, something that was not quite there yet. -Something that could be felt from very far away. Autumn!
I got excited! I’m quite tuned to these things after years in the outdoors. -And I love Autumn so much! Everything sounds different, the music is different and I pick out other records from the shelf. -Just intuitively. I was born in the Autumn, my beloved little sister were born in the Autumn, I love Autumn!
Maybe I feel a special expectation this year, since I spent so much time home in Norway earlier this year.
Lately I have found myself waking up in the morning not knowing which country I am in. I see the light and am not even half awake. I turn around in bed and think: that’s my window… mmm, light… there’s my wardrobe in Norw… (old steam engine going by on the train-line down the road) wake! England.
I really want to be here! But I really want to be back home at the same time. I used to say: “Anywhere, as long as something is happening there!” Right now I need to make something happen. But still there’s a sense of future and unachieved potential in both places. It feels like there are mountains of the mind to climb in both places. And new things are happening indeed. The people I meet, the arts-exhibition Haj and I have put on, new perspectives, Church…
I found something I had written in one of my journals a year ago. I was proclaiming that I was gonna stay in the UK and giving reasons for why! It made me happy to see it again. I just need to stick with the programme. Just that the programme seems to be extending to two countries. Not that I mind. Then I can wake up and go: light, window… mmm… morning, in Norway? UK? And I could be wrong and right with different answers every so often.